The Power of Positive Emotional Attraction in Leadership

I remember a conversation I had with a senior leader not too long ago.

She was exhausted, frustrated that no matter what incentives or performance goals she put in place, her team just wasn’t fully engaged. “What am I missing?” she asked.

Her question hit home. It’s a challenge I’ve seen in countless organizations.

The truth is, people don’t thrive in environments driven purely by performance pressure. They thrive where they feel seen, valued, and inspired.

Recent data reveals that only 31% of employees are engaged in their work, marking a decade low (Gallup, 2023).
But here’s the twist: most employees aren’t asking for higher pay, they’re asking for purpose.

Neuroscience tells us that motivation isn’t fueled by pressure. It’s fueled by connection.

Dr. Richard Boyatzis describes the Positive Emotional Attractor (PEA) as the state in which people feel energized, hopeful, and connected to something bigger than themselves.

It’s in this state that creativity, resilience, and engagement flourish (I thoroughly recommend to read Boyatzis’ work on the topic).

Yet, many leaders unknowingly activate the Negative Emotional Attractor (NEA) by mainly focusing on problems, performance gaps, and corrective feedback.

Research shows that too much time in the NEA triggers stress, shutting down the cognitive abilities leaders want to enhance in their people.

This was exactly the challenge my client was facing.

So, during our coaching sessions, we worked through four key areas that would help her build a truly motivating environment.

It wasn’t about adding more meetings or raising bonuses, it was about shifting her leadership mindset:

• Starting with vision– I asked her, “When was the last time you talked about why your and your team’s work matters?”
  She looked at me like I’d asked if she’d seen a unicorn recently. Turns out, in all the hustle, she had stopped reminding her team of the WHY.
• Focusing on strengths – Like many leaders, she had developed a sharp eye for spotting what was wrong.
  I challenged her to do the opposite for a few weeks: intentionally look for what her team was doing well. At first she struggled, but after a while, she noticed something: people were stepping up more, and confidence was growing
• Foster connection– “I check in all the time” she insisted.
  Then we dug deeper. Her check-ins were mostly, “How’s the project going?” often anticipated by “We only have 15 minutes to…”
  During our coaching, we crafted an experiment: start each all-hands team meeting with a quick round of personal wins or reflections.
  The first time, it was awkward. The second time, people started opening up. After a while, she told me connection was happening, and there even was some laughter in the room
• Encourage work-life balance– This was, and still is, her biggest struggle. She prided herself on working long hours and always being available. But she hadn’t realised how contagious her exhaustion was for her team.
  Once she did, she started to be more mindful about the example she was giving, especially in terms of having proper lunch breaks, stepping away from her desk.

After a few months of coaching, my client saw a transformation.
Not just in her team, but in herself. She felt lighter, more connected, and, at the end of the day, more effective.
Her team was responding with energy, engagement, and initiative.

And while we reflected on the process, she had a realization: Although she had somehow forgotten it along the way, the leaders who had most inspired her in the past weren’t the ones who simply pushed her to perform, but rather the ones who had believed in her potential before she saw it herself.

Think about the people who have inspired you the most in your life. What did they do differently?
Chances are, they saw your potential before you did. They believed in you even when you doubted yourself. They made you feel like your contributions mattered.

As a leader, your challenge isn’t just to push for results. It’s to create the conditions where people WANT to give their best.

And that starts by choosing, every day, to engage them with the Positive Emotional Attractor.

So, my question for you is: What kind of leader do you want to be?