Let your voice be heard!

Is speaking up courageously in meeting hard for you?

Do you see an elephant in the room but are afraid to talk about it?

Does sharing your opinion on controversial issues feel scary?

If so, you are not alone!

I am constantly hearing leaders struggling with it, even more so in new organisational settings that promote more horizontal and less vertical/ hierarchical leadership.

It almost sounds as if we need the permission granted by a formal title to speak up.

I have recently spoken with a few leaders who used to have teams reporting to them and now have more horizontal coordination roles, who quite literally feel lost and don’t feel as entitled as before to let their voices be heard.

This is a big topic, that requires much more than a blog post to be explored, but I’d like to share a few thoughts and tips that have enabled my coachees to get unstuck and moving in a helpful direction towards a more courageous presence:

1- Consider ALL the risks

When I ask anyone struggling with this topic what is the risk of speaking up, I have an abundance of immediate responses: risk of feeling rejected, out of place, looking incompetent, irrelevant, disturbing the harmony in the group… you name it!
But when I ask them about the risk of NOT speaking up, I very often hear silence.

We tend to overestimate the risk of doing something new and different, and underestimate the risk of staying still.

My suggestion here is to try to reflect on what is the risk of staying a bit too much in the shadow and not letting our voices be heard.

Try posing yourself these questions:

How many people besides your close circle know about you, your team, your work?

Do people know what you think, what is important to you, what is your vision, what might be worrying you?

How generous are you in sharing your knowledge and perspectives?

How are you voicing the concerns that you sense in yourself and in the system around you?

…

2- Identify the triggers

What are the specific triggers that send you into your protective space and prevent you from speaking up:

Is it specific people?

Is it a large or smaller group setting?

Is it related to specific topics you might feel less confident about?

The triggers could be very different from one person to the other, and gaining more self-awareness about them can be very helpful in order to “prepare” yourself for the trickier situations.

3- Identify your path of least resistance

Knowing your triggers, consider starting to challenge yourself in settings/topics that come easier to you.

Maybe you won’t be speaking up on the most challenging topic during a town hall, but how about addressing it in your own team's weekly check-in?

Or challenge yourself to speak up for the first time during the next Leadership Team meeting, choosing a topic you feel confident about or sharing your opinion on a less divisive topic.

In order to start speaking up in a gentle gradual way you could also consider posing a question instead of stating an opinion, inviting others to share more about their views, or helping them to consider different perspectives

4- Seek support from others

I am sure there is at least one colleague you feel more comfortable with, or maybe it is your boss or a team member.

Share your challenge with them, so that they know what you are working on, they can gently observe you in action and give you feedback.

It will be a tremendous help to have somebody holding up a mirror for you, giving you constructive feedback and keeping you accountable while working on new behaviours that will most probably make you feel uncomfortable at the beginning!

Last but not least… remember the courageous presence muscle is not something we are born with, it needs to be trained and developed with consistency and patience. You are not alone!