Give yourself a break

“The situation in my organization right now is so difficult, I feel I am walking in a warzone”
“The level of unpredictability and insecurity is so high that I feel I am navigating in stormy seas with the wind continuously changing direction”
“I feel lost in the woods, the compass is broken, and yet I need to show the direction to my team”

This is only a snapshot of the exact words I have been hearing from leaders during our coaching sessions in the last few weeks. They indeed sound like calls for help!
From my personal observation point, the whole pandemic and post-pandemic are putting a very high toll on leaders, trying to juggle far too many balls while everything around them is shifting at an increasing rate.

The risk of getting in a spiral possibly leading to severe exhaustion or even burnout, which has constantly risen to be officially classified as an “occupational phenomenon, specifically tied to chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed” by the World Health Organization (WHO), is far too high.

So…. where can we start to do something about it?
Probably, rather than starting we need to stop. Rather than looking at what we should do, we might need to look at what we should stop doing.

While everything is shifting around us, we need more than ever to find a solid, stable ground on which to stand and feel centered and secure.
Instead of trying to chase something that we might never be able to fully grasp, and to control something that is largely beyond our control, we need to regain control of what we can. Starting from ourselves, our space and time.

In a nutshell, we really need to give ourselves a break!
I believe there are three crucial aspects here:

The first one is that physical and emotional breaks need to be incorporated into our daily routines.

A week skiing in the mountains with our family or a long weekend yoga retreat with our best friend are surely great ways to recharge our batteries, but are not enough to recover from a stressful, always-on business life the remaining of the year. It would be like living in underwater apnea 355 days waiting for those 10 breathing days a year!

A very practical way to intentionally build our “break habits”, is through the 3M framework, to which I was introduced by Dr Sahar Yousef (cognitive neuroscientist, faculty member at UC Berkeley’s Haas School of Business). The three types of breaks we should plan in order to disengage from stress and restore our energy are:

• Macro break: a whole or half-day off to be taken once a month
• Meso break: 1-2 hours off every week, dedicated to a favorite hobby, or to do something together with somebody we care about
• Micro break: few minutes break and disconnection several times a day

The second crucial point is seeing breaks as chances for real disconnection

How often in the few minutes between one meeting and the other we scroll our phone, check our emails, see updates on social media…? Why not try instead to have a real disconnected break, closing our eyes and taking some deep breaths, looking out of the window, maybe doing a quick stretch or giving ourselves a head massage?

The role played by nature in this is so powerful.

I dream about the possibility of taking a walk on the beach first thing in the morning, but of course we are not all so lucky to be able to do that. BUT, I am sure we all have access to a city park, or a little path in the woods.
Why not call our friend while taking a little walk, instead of texting her, or listening to that podcast on a business topic we are interested in while strolling in the park or sitting on a bench in front of a pod?

The third one is relentlessly prioritizing and getting rid of FOMO

FOMO (abbreviation for Fear of missing out) is defined by Cambridge dictionary as "a worried feeling that you may miss exciting events that other people are going to, especially caused by things you see on social media".

FOMO in your career may look like wanting to participate in too many conferences/meetings, engage in too many networking events, read too many business books, sign-up for too many workshops (the exponential growth of free online events during the pandemic has certainly made this a greater risk).

What can help here is always asking ourselves what our intention in participating in that meeting, signing up for that event is. If the answer is something around “I have nothing planned for that day, I might give a look” or “The title sounds interesting”, “Visibility chances are always good”, just give it a second thought.

Remember how precious and limited our time is and treat it with respect!

As leaders, we do have a huge responsibility in all of the above.

If it’s true that leaders bring the weather in the room of their teams, the way leaders are able to role model balanced disconnection and invite their teammates to disconnect, take breaks and prioritize is absolutely key.

If you are connected 24/7, respond to emails on weekends or at 11 pm and never miss an event, you are implicitly sending the message that this is a behavior that leaders should exhibit, that in order to progress in their career and be successful, this is what others should do too.

Therefore, next time you log into your email on a Sunday evening or proudly share that you were daily on the call with the GM during your vacation, ask yourself if this is really necessary, what type of message you are sending yourself and your team, and what else could nurture your mind and soul so that you can be more creative, present and productive in what really counts.